5.18.2012

Just For You

The other day, I was feeling very emotionally drained. A lot of things had cluttered my weekend, unexpected things happened (namely, the death of Josh). And also a friend was going through something really difficult. I felt like I was just holding all the weight on my shoulders.

I had been chatting with a friend and he noticed how I didn’t seem to be doing too good.
‘You should go take a walk,’ he encouraged me.
‘Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.’

After telling him ‘bye’, I went outside and headed up our family’s hill behind our house. Knight decided to tag along for a bit, but soon got distracted with a patch of fresh spring grass. So I continued on my walk alone.

I reached the top of the hill just as the sun was beginning to set. The blackberries and bushes were a bit overgrown, so I couldn’t see the horizon through all the brush. But remembering that my bro had secured a ladder (that he uses for hunting) in a nearby tree, I decided to take my chances at being afraid of heights and climb that ladder. I just felt that I needed to be off the ground. Needed to see the sky, the sun, the horizon.

So I climbed that ladder. I was probably about thirty feet high when I was able to see through the trees and brush and catch the rays of the sun as it started disappearing below the edge of the hill.

It was suddenly hard to breathe. The scene before me was so beautiful. And not necessarily because it was a beautiful sunset. I had seen plenty of breath-taking sunsets before. But it was almost like I heard God’s voice telling me, ‘This is just for you.’ My eyes welled up with unbidden tears and my breath started coming in short gasps.

I remembered back to something…I’m not sure where I remembered it from. Maybe something I read. Maybe something I heard. Maybe God had manifested it to me during one of my quiet times with Him. Whatever it was, this is what I remembered:

God loves me. He loved me enough to send His only Son to die in my place. I’m an imperfect human being. I sin every single day. But God, in His amazing and unfathomable love for me – for all of us – sends little blessings, every day to touch us. Because in blessing and making us happy, it makes Him happy.

Now that beautiful sunset that I saw…if it was just another beautiful masterpiece, that’s awesome. But when I saw it, I felt like it was for me. And I believe that God would paint that beautiful sunset just for me, if He wanted to.

Just for you, I came to this world.
Just for you, I died.
If I had to do it all over again,
Just for you, I would give my last sigh.

Just for you, I painted that sky.
Just for you, I spoke.
The colors came together in a magnificent hew
Just for you, they glowed.
And through the storms in your life
When your sails feel heavy and down
I walk beside you all the way
Just for you, there waits a crown.