1.19.2013

Is having a boyfriend a bad thing?


Is having a boyfriend a bad thing?  Or is it okay to date within reason?

Having a boyfriend isn’t a ‘bad’ thing, if you know where that relationship is headed.  Personally, I don’t agree with guys and girls dating and having gf/bf-s if they’re not intending to get serious about their relationship in the near future.  What’s the use of having a boyfriend then?  Just to say that you do?  So that you’re not lonely?  Being in a relationship should be a serious thing.  The modern world has watered it down so drastically, though, that having a boyfriend is a common thing - even for a nine year old!  

And about ‘dating within reason’...
It depends on what your ‘reason’ is.  Does it fall under any of the categories I mentioned above?  Or are you dating ‘within a reason’ of furthering your relationship as two individuals who are planning to actually getting married.
‘To date’ is another phrase that is loosely used in our society.  It’s a time when two people get to know each other ‘as friends’ and kind of test the waters to see if they have a mutual interest in each other.  Also, ‘dating’ in the world means that the relationship is by no means long-term, and that they can ‘break up’ at any time.  That type of dating, I do not agree with.  
On the other hand, I’ve heard of people referring to dating as a ‘laid-back type of courtship’...if someone is dating and they are chaperoned and plan on getting married, I think that’s a great mindset to have.  And honestly, that is ‘dating within reason’.

12 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you. I don't understand why some girls are okay with just being another pretty face. Personally, if I date a guy, I want to know that I'm his one and only, his forever love. Dating should be saved for two people who want to get married.

    Whoa... Sorry if I ranted there. But, yeah... I agree... haha

    In Christ,
    Emily

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  2. I agree with you. Having a boyfriend or dating without a reason seems pointless and like asking for a heartbreak :P I plan (in the future) to do some sort of dating courtship combo. Or more of a getting-to-know-you-with-the-though-of-marriage-in-the-future type thing. Sierra
    Keep growing beautiful!

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  3. This is a great post Raquel! It's so true about the modern world's definition of dating.... it's really a serious thing and i can say that i really would love to have someone but I'm also only almost 16 and don't know any guys. I know that if God wants me to have a special guy in my life he'll bring me the right one at the right time! I still get restless and impatient sometimes thought :P

    Thanks for this post!

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  4. I fully agree, Raquel. While I certainly don't agree with the modern dating mindset, I also don't appreciate when people will tell me I "have to court" just because to most people dating means just having fun with the emotions of the opposite sex. I think it's really important to find a clean, healthy balance, with God as your center, not your emotions & desires. :)

    hugs,
    ~bree

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  5. i find no problem with ''dating'' or having a ''boyfriend'' but i do have a problem with when yous start a relationship/ date someone you don't plan to/ see yourself marrying. what's the point? that's what dating is for. and i don't agree with the ''young dating'' i mean, a twelve year old with a boyfriend-- really? i mean if your mature and REALLY think you WILL marry the guy, okay. but just for ''attention'' and to be ''like'' everyone else, let's take the easy path, and grow with God more first. thanks for writing this Raquel :) xoxo

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  6. I agree 100%.The world has turned Gods plan for boys and girls, into a game,or girls showing of that they have a boyfriend.

    Great post,
    Aili

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  7. Thank you thank you thank you for this post! You worded it so wonderfully! So true. And as long as the relationship's got Jesus at the centre and is focused on commitment, whether you call it 'dating-within-reason' or 'courtship' doesn't really matter.

    ~Cassie

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  8. And where do you get you epic pictures that you put in your posts?

    Cassie

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  9. I agree. Dating is to find who you're going to marry. If you're not planning on marrying the person you're dating, what's the use of dating them. I'm still a young teen (or a middle teen I guess) and I'm not going to be getting married anyone soon, so I don't see the point in dating so young. Personally, I'm hoping that the first and only boy I date is going to be the one I marry, that is if I get married.

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  10. Yeah, I agree with you too! Having a boyfriend is a great way to get to know someone while still having the intent of a serious relationship. It may be that you both like each other and decide to date, but then find out that they aren't exactly how they appeared to be, and you break up...So i think dating is good for that reason. Courtship comes across as really serious, and a lot of the time you need something a little more in the middle I'm not exactly sure how this this is coming out (not as skilled with words as you are dear )

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  11. When I was student-teaching, I'll never forget that one teacher told me that she had to watch out for "dating" relationships among her fourth graders. When I was that age, I still thought boys were icky. It's sad how fast the world is going downhill.

    www.thesmudgecurve.com

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