What It Means To Be 'Single'

Many people view being single as a downside.  ‘Everyone else’ is in a relationship right now, so why shouldn’t I be?  Is something wrong with me?

These are questions that I’ve had readers ask me.  If you’ve been there and said that, let me just clarify one thing.  Right now, you are where you’re meant to be.  If you’re single, it’s because God says you’re supposed to be single.  And no, it’s not a ‘bad thing’.

Single isn’t a status.  It’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on anyone except God.  It’s a person who is trusting God with their future, with their life, and with their love story.

Your single years are probably some of the best years of your life.  While yes, it’s hard not having that significant other to call and text all day and cuddle with on the weekends, there’s honestly so much more that can fill up your time and so many good things you can be accomplishing that you wouldn’t be able to if you were in a committed relationship.  But most importantly, your single years is a testing ground for the most important relationship you can ever have - with God.  A relationship that will never end.  A man/woman isn’t going to make your life perfect.  If you’re unhappy right now, a boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t going to make you happy.  If you’re discontent with life, starting a relationship isn’t going to make it all a bed of roses.

While you’re single, you are ‘free from concern’ as Paul says in his letter to the Corinthians.  In verse 32 of chapter 7, he says: ‘...One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the LORD, how he may please the LORD.’  What better goal in life?  What a privilege to have so much time to learn more about the LORD and how we can better serve Him?  

Being single doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.  It doesn’t mean you’re shy, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.  It doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about love and how to show affection.  It means you know enough about love to know that it’s something worth waiting for.  Something real.

God hasn’t overlooked you.  He has something and someone amazing in store for you.  Remember: it’s all about HIS timing, not yours.  Put your heart in God’s hands and He will put it in the hands of the one He has chosen for you.  And if being single is one of your callings in life and marriage isn’t written in your story, remember that His plans for you aren’t something that He knows you can’t handle.  With Him all things are possible.  So become satisfied in your life right now.  Fall more in love with Him right now.  And nothing in your future will ever phase you.


'...No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.'
- Psalm 84:11


  1. Aw, thank you so much for your encouragement, Raquel! I think this is such a struggle for a lot of girls, and it is especially for me. Thank you for sharing :)

  2. Raquel this is the most beautiful post that you've ever written!! Spoke to my heart so much. Love this!

    xoxo Miss ALK
    Southern Belle in Training

  3. Hello Requel. I am so glad to go thrugh your blog "God's Daughter" and the post on it "Single". It is indeed a struggle of many young people to understnd what God desires of them and what His plans are for their lives. The last paragraph of your post is very encouraging for the one's who are struggling and the promise verse from 84:11 is the challenge to walk uprightly so that every good thing will be released by the Lord for them who walk uprightly. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 34yrs in the city of Mumbai, India. We would love to have you come and speak to our young people in the cities who have same struggles. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. I have followed your earlier posts too which have been every encouraging to the young people. May God richly bless you as continue to encourage and admonish young people through your posts.

  4. I am honestly about to cry. This was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you, Raquel. :)

  5. Thank you so much for writing this post! I know this is something that I struggle with a lot. I think it's because I have a few friends who are my age and have gotten married and have a baby while here's me - in college without a boyfriend. I know a boyfriend won't make me happy because Jesus and my relationship with Him is the only thing that can truly make me happy. But sometimes doubts creep in and make me wonder if I'm doing the right thing and whether I should say "Yes" to this boy that wants to be in a relationship with me. I feel like we're both at places in our lives where we are trying to figure out what we're going to do/become; go to college or work or whatever and I think a relationship would make it harder right now. It's hard though because it's nice to know that a guy likes me enough to want to get to know me better. He's a Christian and we share a lot of the same views/morals which is good. I have talked to other people like my parents and a girl cousin that's like my sister about this whole thing so I've gotten godly advice. It just seems like it will be hard to wait though. And I really haven't prayed about it at all, which I probably should do because I know I would feel better and not worry so much if I believed that God has everything under control, etc. So anyways, after this long comment :), you have some real words and a gift of wisdom and encouragement for us, Raquel, and I am so blessed by your blog and your wise words.

  6. I recently have been dealing with a relationship with my best friend. He has been awesome through it all, and wants God to be glorified through our relationship. We are not together because he feels God has said wait. It is hard for me, because I do love him, but I know that God has a plan and a purpose. This article was sent to me by a very amazing friend, and it encouraged me so much. Thank you!

  7. I'm happy being single and really not ready for a relationship,but I think in a world that thinks you should always have a lover and romance is big, I think it brings us single people down to a lonely sometimes desperate feeling. But overall I'm content. :) thanks for sharing Raquel.