Growing in your singleness | guest post

The culture of Christianity is to marry young and have three kids by your 25th birthday. Well, I’m 24 and single. I have pressures from outside sources (i.e. family, friends, etc.) to get married soon and start producing babies by next Friday. Whether it’s a harmless comment from my grandma saying that she wants grandkids or a friend making a joke about my singleness. Does it affect me? Not at all. The only voice that matters to me about my prospective romantic relationship is the one I receive through my Divine relationship. God’s voice is the only one that matters.

One of my closest friends is the exact opposite as me. He hates when he hears someone close to him take a jab at him for being single. He’s in a rush to get into a relationship, while I’m in a rush to get to Taco Bell. My friend isn’t alone in his thinking. Through serving in youth ministry for years, I’ve seen many young people think more about their future spouse than their forever Savior. This is an epidemic within young Christianity. We want to get married and have kids because, for some of us, that’s the Christian American dream. 

A relationship isn’t completely undesirable to me. I want to get into a relationship. The past few months have been filled with me trying to give up on my ways of dating just about any girl and moving towards only dating girls who I thought was good for me. I’ve been smarter with whom I date, but I still end up with the same result: single. Is this frustrating? Heck yeah. However, I believe there is a purpose within my singleness. Jesus wants to teach me something.

Jesus wants to teach me that true joy is bound up in Him, not her. Sometimes, I think that getting a girlfriend will solve a lot of my problems. This is a lie. My problems are solved with the aid of my God, not my prospective girlfriend. I need to find my worth in my pursuit of the One True God, not in my pursuit of my one true love. When I think I’m alone, I need to remind myself that Jesus said that He is always with me (Matthew 28:20). There is never a moment when I am alone. Jesus is by my side at all times.

As I wait on Jesus to return to redeem this fallen world, I will also wait for Jesus to present me with the girl I will fall in love with. Presenting is the key word here. God presented Eve to Adam (Genesis 2:22). Adam didn’t go search out the other local gardens to find a girl. Instead, God saw his need and presented Eve to him. I will do the same.

I will not go out looking for love. I will not go to my local gardens looking for love. Instead, I will wait for Jesus to present me my own Eve. To be clear, I’m not advocating for guys to be passive in their pursuit of girls. Not at all. When she is presented to me (i.e. either at church, school, or wherever), I will actively pursue her. Until then, I will use my singleness to listen to what Jesus is trying to teach me.
Jesus uses our singleness to prepare us for marriage. In our singleness, we learn who we truly are and it’s a great time to see our faith in God grow. 

Allow Jesus to use your singleness to grow your faith.


Hi. My name is Jordan Kranda. I’m currently pursing a Masters of Divinity at Talbot School of Theology in La Mirada, CA. I also have a Bachelor of Arts in Biblical and Theological Studies from Biola University. I serve in the youth ministry at Cypress Church in Cypress, CA. I work at Disneyland as the guy who sells over-priced churros. In my free time, I read, write posts for JordanKranda.com, tweet (@JordanKranda), and joke around. 


  1. Thank you for the encouragement/lesson, Jordan. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

  2. This is such a great post!!!! Thanks for sharing this! :)


  3. Amen! I love to hear this being said.

  4. I totally agree with Jordan. Good to know that man like him still exist. Thank you!!!!

  5. Waiting might not always be easy, but it's always worth it. 25 and still waiting for that girl God chose for me, the girl that I am chosen for.

    And here's something that excites me on the journey: Loving this girl is not something I can experience when I finally meet her, it's something I can do right now by how I guard my heart, keep my emotions, thoughts and eyes pure, by praying for her, her heart, her relationship with Jesus, her day, self-esteem and everything else about her daily.

    Already investing in a girl I don't know yet, putting effort in preparing my heart for her and cultivating love in me for her has enriched my singleness so much! I'm not just waiting, I'm getting ready - while God is doing the same thing behind the scenes! :D

    Greetings and blessings!

    PS: I wrote a similar blog post couple years ago about God's way to find our spouse. :D I just love talking and writing about it!

  6. Thank you so much. Tonight I really need to read this one. God bless you!

  7. This post was something I really needed to read at the moment. Thank you! :)

  8. This is a wonderful statement! Wow I'm so impressed and encouraged. I think it is easier said than done, and I'm proud of you for keeping the faith!