2.17.2014

Of friendships come and gone


We’ve all had that one friend who we talked to all day, everyday, about anything and everything and sometimes nothing at all.  We could talk for hours on end and never get tired of hearing each other’s voice or seeing each other’s name pop up on our phones to alert us that we had a text from them.  We’d send each other silly pictures, have sleepovers, rock out to our favorite songs together, whisper until the wee hours of the morning about guys or girls and always know that tomorrow would be another day to fill with more memories with that person you loved.

And then one day, things changed.  Something happened.  And you will most likely never know what.  The conversations dwindled.  The time grew longer and longer between talks.  The phone calls ceased.  Text messages became a thing of the past.  And the part of your heart that was always so happy at the mention of that friend’s name is nothing more but a mass of memories that make you sad and ache at the confusion and loss of someone who you thought would always be there for you.  Because, after all, that’s what friends usually promise each other, right?  

Maybe you’ve tried to get back in contact with them, but they’ve pushed you away - leaving you to wonder what the heck you ever did to make them upset with you.  Or maybe they just came straight out and told you ‘I don’t think there’s anything worth salvaging in our friendship’, and you left, with tears in your eyes, to think that the friendship you used to hold so dear to your heart was actually nothing worth fighting for.

I know you’re waiting for the happy ending of this post.  Raquel just dragged you through a puddle of memories and you’re hoping she can give you something to help ease the pain.  But, the sad truth is, I don’t have anything to remedy this.  There isn’t anything I can say or do that can help you forget that friend you once had.  Or something that could help you understand why they won’t talk to you anymore.  It’s a part of the past that you can’t undo.  And it’s something you can either choose to leave in the past, choose to carry with you, or choose to let its lessons teach you for the future.

It's natural to overthink, but sometimes this just causes more hurt.  You can keep asking yourself what happened and why or what you did that made this friendship fall apart, but you'll probably never find the answer.  The reason it hurts so much, though, is because you cared for that person.  There wouldn't be pain over a friendship lost if there wasn't a friendship love to begin with.

People come and go.  It’s a fact of life.  And if you have any friends who you’ve known since childhood and are still able talk to, you are incredibly blessed.  (I can count how many of those kinds of friends I have on one hand.)  

Short friendships are kind of a common thing in my life.  For the longest time, I beat myself up over it, almost falling into a depression, wondering and worrying over what awful things I could have done to make those ‘friends’ leave.  I overthink every single little detail.  I love easily.  And I love so hard that it really hurts when I realize that I have to let go.  But I remember one day, either hearing or reading something, that said how every single person who comes into your life is an opportunity for you to show them God’s love.  And since then, I’ve made it a point to reach out to people even more - and invest my time and love into them - even though they might leave.  Even though I’ll only know them for a week, a day, an hour.  I don’t care if they don’t even remember my name.  Just so long as they remember the love I showed them.  Which wasn’t even my own.  I just want them to remember God’s love.

We’ve been put on this world - not to be comfortable!  But to realize that there’s another world waiting for us that will be free of misery and pain.  Where friendships won’t be broken, tears won’t be spilt and pain won’t be present.  But for now, live life joyfully.  Take each day as a blessing.  And smother people with love - even if they don’t want it.  Sometimes the people who push you away are the ones who most need you in their life.  

And, dear one, don’t let those people who have left your life ruin your present happiness.  It’s their loss, not yours.

11 comments:

  1. This post was EXCELLENT and just what I needed to read!! Thank-you for sharing. I think friend break-ups can often be harder then romantic break-ups!

    xoxo Miss ALK
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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    1. Thank you! Glad to hear it! You're very welcome. And yes, I agree. At times, they can be.

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  2. thank you for this! it's so true in every way and i needed the quote so much this week (:
    xoxo
    rainbows and dreams

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    1. You're very welcome! Praise the LORD that it blessed you. Hope your week gets better.

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  3. I really needed to read this today. And I can't help but think about Job ... When all his friends accused him when he did nothing wrong (and even his wife did not support him!).

    Words hurt. But not just the words of a stranger, but the words of those we love deepest, those we trust freely, those we care about that we would do just about anything for them. But as I walk through a more lonely season of my life, I learn, over and over again, to realize that God will never leave me (Deut. 31:6), even if friends do. I learn to trust fully in God, and that, in a friendship, my goal should be to love them with the same selfless love that Jesus has shown to me, even when I have hurt Him.

    Great post! (And thanks for the wonderful letter you sent me (from the giveaway)) :)

    Blessings & Grace,

    Rachel

    {http://mysunkissedfarm.wordpress.com/}

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    1. Glad to hear it was perfect timing for you. And yes, exactly. I'm happy to see that you are learning to trust Him more fully.

      Oh! You're THAT Rachel! haha You're welcome:) Thanks for being a reader - and for commenting!

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    2. That's awesome that you're commenting/responding! And, yes, I've been a reader of your blog for a few years now. You never cease to encourage me in my walk with the Lord :)

      --Rachel

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    3. I'm glad people are so excited about it haha I would've started doing it sooner if I had known people would for sure check back for replies.
      Praise the LORD!! That is SO encouraging to hear!

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