Romantic Distractions, True Focus

I received feedback from a reader regarding my short romance stories.  She expressed how she avoids reading (and listening to) anything romantic because she struggles with feeling ‘single-and-lonely’ and how thinking such things aren’t ‘helpful’ to her in any way.  She asked me if it’s the same case for me and if, while writing romance novellas, I am affected in a negative way or if it leads me to distraction.

To put it simply, no.  Of course I’ll have moods where it’s difficult to think and read about romantic stuff (because it’s like rubbing salt in the open wound of You’re Single And Everyone Else Isn’t) but that’s not very often.  God has taught me a lot through being single and my view on it has become one of joy-filled contentment because I trust the LORD with my future and whatever He has planned for me - whether that means a relationship or being single for the rest of my life.  It’s an everyday challenge, though.  I’m not saying I’ve got this down pat and I never struggle with the feeling of loneliness.  I do.  And often.  But it’s during those times that I need to turn my focus back to God and rest in the peace of His wisdom and plans for my life.  As far as romantic influences - whether it be movies, books, or writing short stories - it’s never affected me in a negative way or caused me to sway from my walk of contentment.

I wrote up a three-point list of, well, I’m not really sure what sort of list this is.  But I hope that if you can relate to any of them that you’ll be encouraged by my suggestions for each.

1) If you are struggling with being so easily distracted by something romantic, chances are you’re not very content being single.
If it causes an unhealthy balance in your view of life and your desires, then you need to distance yourself and pray that God will grant you grace and contentment.

2) If something romantic distracts your heart from God, you probably don’t have a very strong relationship with Him.
As a Christian, God is the ultimate Lover of your soul.  Not a man/woman.  We long to be loved, and to be romanced, yet if a worldly sort of romance entices your heart and doesn’t profit your relationship with the LORD in any way, then that’s a huge NO.  Work on your relationship with Him.  This is the first step to being joyfully content while single.  He’s the only One who can satisfy you.

3) If romantic things have a negative affect on you, then by all means, avoid them as much as possible.
Someone commented on one of my romance stories and was like ‘This doesn’t help me stay content being single, Raquel.  You should be more considerate of others.’  It kind of made me laugh because #1 - I get more positive responses from my readers (especially thank yous for writing clean romantic stuff) than negative and #2 - if you don’t like it, just don’t read it.  Pretty simple.

With that being said, I hope you continue to enjoy my little romantic stories:)  But remember that the greatest Author of the greatest love story is One who wants to romance your heart and soul.  When feeling lonely or unloved, turn to His Word, spend time with Him not the world.  Remember: you control your heart, but He created it and understands it.  Better than you probably do yourself.


‘Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.’
- Proverbs 4:23


  1. I think you gave the perfect response. That was great! I'm there with you :)


  2. This is so wonderful! Thank you Raquel!!! :D

  3. Great response, Raquel, and I can relate. Your short romantic stories are the best, btw. ;)

  4. I doubt you'll publish this comment, but I'll say it anyways: posts like these make it seem as if you are trying to convince yourself, not others. I agree it may be odd for someone to tell you not to write stories like that, because they are not bad. But it is very strange when you tell someone that they need to work on their relationship with God if they are enticed by romantic notions when you say that you have NEVER been negatively affected by movies, books or other influences when every human heart has been to some small degree. Yes, that person probably should have just not did anything if they thought your story was racy, but how are they suppose to take you seriously when you aren't always real with people?