Disclaimer: Every woman is different. These are not guaranteed to work for every guy on every girl, but these are guidelines that are definite suggestions and may help you. And of course, just 10 of them.
Oh and the obvious first one is: Be a Christian man who loves the LORD more than he’ll love his wife. And if you don’t meet that qualification, then don’t bother reading the following list because a true woman of God will turn you down right from the start if you don’t meet that criteria.
1) Remember that she’s not only a woman, she is a lady.
She may have a beautiful face and a beautiful body, but physical attraction is common. Be attracted to her personality and genuinely interested in her as a person, and by this, you will gain her respect and she will know that you’re not just a pig looking for a one-night stand. This is rare.
2) Respect her.
2) Respect her.
If you know her standards, respect them. Don’t make her compromise. You will gain more respect by your desire to help her guard herself than you possibly know you can. For example: If she has a boundary with physical touch, make an obvious effort to refrain from ever putting her in a situation where that rule could be jeopardized. A true gentleman knows how to respect a lady. And respecting her also calls for keeping your promises. A true man never goes back on his word. And because of that, he won’t make any promises that he can’t keep.
3) Don’t play with her heart.
This includes talking to her for days on end, flirting with her, leading her on and then bam. It’s like you dropped off the face of the earth. That only labels you as a ‘player’. And a godly woman will know to point you to the door if you come crawling back to her for the next round.
4) Push her closer to the LORD.
It’s not your duty to ‘lead’ her (yet), but while being friends, it is your responsibility to encourage her in her faith and push her closer to your heavenly Father. He should be such a part of your life that your presence alone should bless her and make her see His grace and goodness in your life.
5) Flirting isn’t bad if there are intentions behind it.
Flirting is a very easy and convenient tool to use to show someone you’re interested in them. And to many women, we’ll accept it as such. If you flirt with us, it’s like you’re saying ‘hey, you’re cute and I want to date you’. But of course that’s not enough to go on, so don’t expect us to make the first move. Flirt, see if it’s reciprocated, if it is, then move on to the next step.
6) Never ask her out via text or email. If you have a phone, call her. If you live nearby, drive to her house and ask her to her face. (Most preferred? The latter.)
This is very important because if you don’t have the guts to tell her to her face, it’s because you aren’t man enough to look her in the eye and let your affections be known. And that’s just a turn off. I’ve had guys tell me they liked me and/or asked me out via the phone/text and I was just like ‘Dude, if you only knew how not cool this is, you wouldn’t have taken this chance’. And it’s not just me, either. Every single girl I’ve talked to has said that if a guy would communicate his feelings or wishes in person, it would give him 95% better of a chance that she would say ‘yes’.
7) Ask intelligent questions.
Be interested in her and what she does, what she loves, what she hates. Remember to listen to her answers. And try (as hard as you can) to remember them. A man who remembers is a man who gets points. You have no idea how much a woman will be impressed (and feel special) when you remember things that she’s told you. Especially things about HER.
8) Smell good.
Dress attractively, style your hair nicely, and smell good. Those are pretty much three of the first things a woman notices about a man when they first meet. (I promise you there are more, but disclosing them here would be major breaking of the Girl Code). But you’re welcome for me telling you those.
9) Find out what her love language is.
Very, very important. Every woman is different (I’d say ‘man’ too but we’re focusing directly on the ladies here). Some love to be showered with gifts, others prefer words of encouragement, while still others are more of a spend-time-one-on-one sort of person. Whichever one she is, that’s your cue. Work hard at loving her through that language (all within boundaries, of course)...and she will melt.
10) Don’t try to impress her.
Be yourself. If she truly likes you, the good will most certainly outweigh the bad. And let’s face it. No one wants to be with someone who can’t be honest around the person they like. This will only cause trust issues and that’s never a good thing - in any relationship.
Read the other half of this post (10 Tips On Winning A Godly Man's Heart) over at Jordan Kranda's blog.