Out Of My League

“Out of my league...”

I have heard one too many guys say this.  And it annoys me every time.  I’m not sure if some people think it’s sweet - that a guy thinks a girl is ‘too good for him’ - or what, but honestly, I think it’s just an excuse.  An easy way out.

Maybe you don’t realize this, guys, but by using that line, you’re basically saying that the girl you DO end up with is ‘in your league’.  Now how do you think she’ll feel about that?  And by saying that a girl is out of your league you’re implying that...what?  You don’t rise to challenges?  You don’t accept that she IS too good for you and that you DON’T deserve her, so you’re just gonna give up?  Excuses are stupid.  And unattractive.  And immature.  Oh and it makes you look like a wimp.

Nothing comes easy in this life.  Including a woman’s heart.  Every married man who I’ve talked to has told me that he doesn’t deserve his wife.  He never did and never will.  A friendship with a woman is a gift.  A girlfriend is a gift.  A spouse is a gift.  And you’re not going to earn her trust or heart easily.  Pursuing a woman SHOULD be a challenge.  If it isn’t, it basically means that said woman doesn’t have high standards.  And in that case, you should move on.  Because a woman who doesn’t have high standards, doesn’t respect herself.  And a woman who doesn’t respect herself shouldn’t be on your radar for possible wife material.  Why?  Because if she lets you get to her so easily, what makes you think she won’t let other guys do the same?  But I digress.  That is a whole different topic.

Yesterday, I was thinking about what I wanted to say in this post.  Basically, I just wanted to express my annoyance with this term that so many guys I know have used.  And what better place to write about it than on my blog?  Hopefully this is something my readers will actually not mind reading.  And I am completely open to your thoughts and comments, so feel free to let me know what you think.  Maybe this is just a personal pet peeve.  Or maybe there are other girls out there who find this phrase dumb too.  I would like to know.

But to the guys...

Please stop saying that a girl is out of your league.  If she means anything to you, then pursuing her shouldn’t be something you cower from.  Sure, expressing feelings to a girl is a bit intimidating.  Okay, maybe a whole lot intimidating.  I totally get that.  Emotions and love and all those things are pretty intense and scary.  But don’t try to be all tough and cute and sweet by saying that “Oh yeah, she’s gorgeous and awesome but so out of my league”.  (Key word: try)  Honestly, I’ve never thought it was attractive that a guy said that.  He’s only using it as an excuse because he’s scared of trying.  But where are you going to get anywhere in this life if you’re scared?  Risk some things, okay?  Risk being rejected.  Risk not knowing her answer.  Risk pursuing her.  It may not work out.  She may say no.  But hey...what if she doesn’t?


  1. Raquel, thank you. Finally someone has expressed my sentiments on this. It's almost hurtful, too ... that "she's too good for me, so why even bother?"

    You nailed it. God bless you, girl! <3

    -- Rachel

  2. This made me laugh, but it's so true. If men want a good wife or girlfriend, well then be a man for goodness sake's! Somebody needs to tell guys that, who better than women, and who better then Raquel!

  3. Amen! I'm not a guy, but I've definitely felt the brunt of this attitude. It's not like I walk around acting like I'm too good for any guy, so it's discouraging that guys who are interested in me cower as soon as they learn that I have strong convictions about life and faith. Sometimes it's discouraged me to the point where I almost feel like I should lower my standards, maybe not have so many convictions...but then I realize that I'm doing the same things guys do when they decide a girl is "out of their league".

    In the end, we have to be brave instead of being pushovers to our own fears and insecurities. Thank you for another great post!

    a vapor in the wind