Gonna go straight to the point here. I’m single. I am actually very happy being single. But even then, it sucks when people point out my singleness. It’s like yanking on a newly pierced earring. It looks great, you’re happy with it, but if someone starts tugging on it, you realize just how much pain it actually took to get it there. (And sorry to any guys reading this who can’t relate.)
Anyway, I told a bestie that I was gonna write this post, and she texted me back (literally): “It’s about time!!!”
So here goes.
1) It’s okay. He/she is out there somewhere.
No duh. I mean, if it’s in God’s will that I get married someday, then yeah they are. I know that already. Tell me something new.
2) Keep doing what you’re doing.
Oh, I plan to.
3) Maybe your standards are too high.
I’m sorry? Standards need to be high nowadays. I’m not going to end up with a no account loafer, so thanks, but I don’t think I’m gonna lower them.
4) One day, it’ll be worth it.
Okay, I’m sure people who say this mean well, but when a single person is going through a specifically difficult time with being content and patient, this is NOT what they want to hear. In some instances, it can be encouraging. But in others, not so much. I wouldn’t discourage people from saying this altogether, but when you do, be sure to use wisdom as to if it’s a good time to or not.
5) God is gonna let you meet him/her soon.
First of all, how do you know this? Secondly, if it’s because God “told” you, then why didn’t He just tell me? Aren’t I the one who’s single and waiting here? I’ve had numerous people tell me this. “Oh just wait, Raquel. He’s right around the corner. You’ll meet him in the next couple of months.” And that was two years ago.
6) I can’t believe you’re still single. You’re so amazing!
Gee, thanks. Can you go tell that to some guy who you also think is amazing and maybe we can work something out?
7) Why are you still single?
I’m not sure if people mean this as sarcasm or as a straight-up question, but really? I’m single because I’m single. I don’t ask you why you’re single, do I? Or how you’re still married...
8) I’m sure someone likes you! They’re probably just too shy to say anything. Or intimidated.
Oh that’s just super encouraging. NOT. Do I WANT to be told that I’m hard to approach? Is that somehow MY fault? No.
9) Just wait, be patient, be content.
Again, this CAN be encouraging to be reminded of sometimes. But...use caution.
10) When you’re most content, that’s when God will provide your girlfriend/boyfriend.
This isn’t a very safe thing to say. For starters, single people can easily just be like “Okay, gotta focus on being content, gotta focus on being content”...and when they feel like they have reached that level of contentedness, then, uh, where is she/he? So no. Don’t learn to be content for the reward of no longer being single. Learn to be content because it brings honor to God. The opposite of contentment is dissatisfaction and anxiety - and both are discouraged in the Bible.
End of rant.
Comment any other should-nots that I left out, readers.