11.22.2014

19 And Still At Home

I’ve had several people ask me when I plan on moving out.  I think most teenagers are expected to graduate, move out, and go to college when they turn 18.  But here I am, at 19, a 2012 graduate, still living at home.  Is there something wrong with this picture?  Or is there something wrong with the mentality of 18-and-leave?

I will be honest, moving out doesn’t seem like an absolutely horrible idea.  I’d get to make my own schedules and my own rules.  (And before you go jumping to the conclusion that just by that statement, I’m some rebellious child, I say those thoughts in complete respect and honor of my parents.)  While moving out doesn’t seem like such a horrible thing, at the same time, living at home has so many benefits.    

I have decided to continue living at home while I’m single merely because of the fact that I love my home.  My parents love each other and that love has poured over into making the house we live in a home.  Whenever I’m away, even if it’s just for the day while I’m at work, the thought of going home at the end of it makes me happy.  I get to take a shower, sleep in my own bed, wash my clothes in our own washer and dryer, and know for certain that there will always be food when I’m hungry.  My parents have rules – most of which I have no problem abiding by.  Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on everything.  Who does?  But they have instilled in me the Biblical command of obeying and honoring them since I was a wee thing, and since growing older and being able to actually understand what that meant has proved to be challenging and rewarding.  My parents are fabulous too because they don’t lord themselves over me, commanding me to do this, demanding me to do that.  Instead, as I’ve become an adult, they have graciously and patiently asked me or told me their opinion, instead of instructing me.  “No, Raquel, we’d rather you not go see that movie.”  “No, we’d prefer if you stayed home tonight.”  Wording things this way gives me the choice whether or not I can or will do something.  And let me tell you, I love and respect my parents enough that if doing something they’d ‘prefer I not do’, I don’t have as much happiness and fun in whatever it is I’m doing.

Still living at home doesn’t mean I think I’m incapable of living on my own, providing for myself, that I’m not responsible or hard-working.  It’s been a choice of mine.  And of course my family has had a bit of an impact in telling me how much they’d miss me if I ever did move out.  At home, I am surrounded by ones who love me.  And being such a people-person, living on my own, as a single young woman, would be difficult cuz I’d get lonely very quickly. Haha

Living at home is much more affordable too.  I don’t have to worry about paying taxes or rent or household bills.

Living at home gives me time and availability for ministering needs and daily life events that I couldn’t otherwise do if I lived on my own.  Our family home is constantly buzzing with activity, people visiting, spending the night, coming and going.  And living at home has given me many opportunities to practice hosting.  And my Mama is one of the best teachers.

God has placed my parents in my life as my protectors, mentors, guardians, and the ones in authority over me.  People are quick to take that as the evil ogre picture of parents beating children into submission because they’re ‘above’ them in authority.  But no.  Like I explained above, my parents are fabulous, kind, patient, and very fair people.  And I have accepted them as the ones God has placed in my life above me, ones who I am commanded to honor and respect – not by them, but by God.  Honoring authority comes from loving whoever is in authority above you.  I love my God, therefore I want to obey and honor Him.  The same is with my parents.  Because I love them, and they love me, I want to show them my honor and respect and gratitude by doing as they ask, acting upon what they would have me do.

And living at home is one of those ways I can do that. 

27 comments:

  1. I love this post because I am 20 almost 21 and still living at home while I attend college and work at my job!! :)

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    1. Sounds like you keep busy! Glad you enjoyed my thoughts on this subject.
      Thanks for the comment!

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  2. So refreshing to hear your thoughts, Raquel. In today's day and age young women of our ages staying at home is simply counter-cultural. I don't know about you but I tire of the questions and judgements about my staying at home but then I stop to count my blessings and I blow off the naysayers. :)

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    1. I know exactly what you mean. Keep counting your blessings!

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  3. Thanks so much for writing this! As a nineteen year old living at home and doing ministry, I periodically get a bad time for not moving out and going to college. Its always encouraging to be reminded that I'm not the only one. :)

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    1. You're definitely not! Keep up the ministry work and use your single, living at home years to the full advantage!

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  4. I'm sure I shall be asked these questions soon....

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  5. To bring a slightly different perspective, I'm 20 and living 1500 miles away from my family while I attend college. While having my family move has been one of the hardest things I've faced, I've learned so much while living on my own. Your mom won't always be there for you. Especially when I come home from school at 11pm and have to be there again at 7am, I still have to pack my lunch, call my rental company, and jump my car. Being an adult never stops, but I've learned that my parents are always there to pray for and encourage me, no matter how many miles separate us.

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    1. Oh I'm sure there is much to learn about living away from home. And yes, I know my Mama - both of my parents, actually - won't always be there for me. But for now, they are. And I am blessed by that. You, on the other hand, live far from home, and you are blessed by them differently - in the knowledge that they're there for you no matter the distance. That's wonderful. And I am very glad for that blessing for you.

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  6. Thank You! I appreciated this article. I am 25 (and still living at home.)

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    1. You're welcome! I hope it blessed you. Thank you for your comment.

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  7. I'm asked this questions as well I guess it's because I am twenty seven and still leaving at home But it allows me to be there for my mom as her health is not great. It allows me to save money towards my own home, while I use this time to find a job using my degree while I finish my masters in Social work.

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    1. Wow. Your mom is so blessed to have you! And congrats on your masters in social work. I pray God blesses your willingness and servanthood.

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  8. Amen to that! I graduated in 2009, and people have been asking me for years why I haven't moved out yet. I've never known how to respond to that (except to say that I had health issues which was true), but now I feel ready when the question pops up again. ;)

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    1. Aww yay! Well I'm glad I was able to help provide a ready answer for you to throw back at anyone asking those questions of you;)

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  9. As a 19 year old still at home, this post was an encouragement. I'm currently thinking and praying about moving out summer when I graduate college, but it is a difficult decision based on the reasons you explained.

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    1. I'm so glad:) I can definitely see how that'd be difficult. Keep seeking the LORD.

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  10. There's nothing wrong with living at home at 19-- The world is becoming a place where they want everyone to grow so fast before their time.
    But living at home has heaps of benefits, and also gives you the time to actually prepare for when you are going to move out.
    When you're ready, you're ready!
    x

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  11. Well, I guess I'll add my own two cents. ;) I am also a stay at home daughter, I'm 22, and very happy. I do a correspondence Bible College course, am a photographer and work in my family's ministry of helping small churches while learning the skills to one day be a helpmeet in my own home with my own husband and children. Like you, I've had tons of questions about why I still live at home, don't go to a local college, or have a normal 8-5 job. My dad's rule was that we could stay at home as long as we stayed busy with productive activities and lend a hand around the house. I've learned so much not only about taking care of a home and children, but about improving personal relationships with people of all ages, and working in our ministry. I see a lot of people's reactions, and the look on their face implies that they think my parents keep me home for free labor, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm allowed a safe place to live, food to eat, people to fellowship with, and important life lessons to learn, all while not building up college debt. That doesn't mean I'm against girls that go to college or move out on their own, but seeing as my main goal in life is to be a helpmeet, a wife and mother and involved in whatever ministry my husband has, I couldn't find a college that would teach me those things, you know? The Bible puts the father in charge of his daughter's protection until she marries, and I don't see a good example of anything otherwise. We won't mention what happened to Jacob's daughter when she left out from under her father's protection. How could my father protect me and fulfill his God given duty when I'm states away? Also, it says that the older women are to teach the younger. Not only do I learn from my mother, but also all the pastor's wives at the churches we help. I guess I have a unique opportunity to be influenced by godly women all while under my father's protection. I know my opinion is not popular, and once again, I don't bash girls that go to college or move out, I have several friends like that, but for me, that wasn't what God led me to do. So, I hope this is an encouragement for someone. :)

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    1. Amen. Thank you for sharing! This was great.

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  12. Here's my few cents worth from Australia ... I'm 19 and am still at home while studying my nursing degree at university. I too contribute to the household and have my jobs, and for this season in my life, it works and is what's best for me.

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    1. Awesome! Thank you for your comment. And I love knowing I have readers in Australia.

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  13. Good for you Raquel! Your love and respect for your parents is beautiful, and your wise use of these years is wonderful!

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  14. Great article Raquel! I love living at home! I am very close with my parents and siblings. And I want to stay at home, I guess people think it weird or unnatural to live with your parents as soon as you turn eighteen. But I want to stay with them. The day I leave Mami and Daddy is the day that I marry.
    PS: I just discovered your blog and I really like it! :)
    -Kristen.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting! Glad you liked and agreed with this article.

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