2.24.2015

What I wish I could tell you... | letter to a young girl


Dear girl,

You may not have reached that age yet, where people begin calling you a 'teenager'.  But you will.  And you'll experience changes that you may not have been expecting.  And what's that thing people keep talking about?  'Emotions'?  Yeah, those took a while for me to grasp too.  They're like feelings...but not.  They're hard to understand and decipher, those emotions.  They're what you're thinking and feeling all wrapped into one.  Confusing?  Yes.  Difficult?  Yes.  Able to explain?  No.  I wish I could tell you that you'll figure them out in no time, and get the hang of how to deal with them, but truth is, I'm almost 20 years old and I'm still piecing my own together.

I wish I could tell you to always be open and vulnerable.  I wish I could tell you to trust and respect people.  But the truth is, darling, we live in a messed up world, and most of the people who you'll trust are going to end up showing you that you couldn't or shouldn't have.  And don't even get me started on respect.  Just so you know, there are very few people I respect.  I wish I could tell you that you could control what people thought of you, and that they will always see and love the best you.  I wish I could tell you that people will always encourage your womanhood and your strength, and not separate the two.

I wish I could tell you that you'll never suffer from being self-conscious, or having insecurity, or comparing yourself to other girls.  Or that your life will always go as smoothly as the next person's [seems] to be.  I wish I could tell you that you will succeed at every goal you set and every dream you have will come true.  I wish I could tell you that stepping out of your comfort zone will always be one of the best choices you make and that you'll never embarrass yourself and that no one will ever laugh at you.  I wish I could tell you that being a people-pleaser is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it isn't.  Because the way people want to be pleased isn't always right.  Even if it is popular.

And by the way, good communication is one of the most important keys to life.

I really want to tell you that being alone is far different than being lonely.  You may not believe that, but it's the truth.  Being alone is very significant in everyone's life.  It's a time to learn more about yourself in a way that no one could teach you.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes, of doing things by yourself, of figuring things out on your own.  But also, never be afraid to ask for help.  Asking doesn't mean you're ignorant; it means you want to gain more wisdom.

I wish I could tell you that the first guy who says he likes you is 'the one'.  And that he will respect you and always be there for you.  I wish I could tell you that his intentions are honorable and that he will truly love you.  I wish I could promise that he will never hurt you - physically or emotionally - and that he will give you space when you need it, a hug when you need one, or a kiss on the forehead.  Don't ever, ever settle for a guy who is 'good enough'.  Know your value, dear girl.  If someone isn't willing to treat you as a daughter of the Most High, they're not worth your time of day.

I wish I could tell you that all guys are men, that there are beautiful sunsets every night, that you'll always have a stable job and whenever you're having one of those lonely days, there will always be someone to hold you.  I wish I could tell you that you will always see the beauty of the world, but honestly, sometimes, you'll need to really look for it.  I wish I could tell you that you'll always have a reason to laugh, always have a reason to smile.  But sometimes, you just need to find those reasons on your own.

I wish I could tell you that everyone will understand what honesty is and always be honest with you.  I wish I could tell you that you will have a lifelong friend(s) from childhood.  And they will never leave your side, never ignore you, never give you stupid immature silent treatments where you two don't talk for days.  I wish I could tell you that you'll have always more friends that build you up, rather than tear you down.  I wish I could tell you that drama won't ever happen and you'll never have horrible arguments with your friends that leave you not talking for days on end.  Seek out good friends.  Seek out friends who will build you up, encourage you, make you stronger on your OWN.  And yes, there will be times when you have to be the mature one in the friendship.  Either way, everyone is in your life for a reason, to teach you something.  Learn from them - the things you should and shouldn't do.

I wish I could tell you that you'll never face temptations and never see any bad pictures and never hear evil thoughts expressed out loud.

I wish I could tell you that you and your parents are always going to get along, that they'll never overwhelm you with rules, that you'll always be close to them, and that you'll always want to obey their advice and requirements.  I wish I could tell you that all your siblings will be your best friends, that you'll never have fights with any of them, and that you'll always want to be around them.

But you might not.

Sweet one, I may be wrong about some of these.  I really hope I am.  If some of these prove to be the opposite in your life, I am so happy for you.  And you should count yourself as blessed.

But there will be times when you just need to wipe the tears off your face and be your own little hero. And moments where you need to choose whether to be happy or let the sadness seep into you.

And in the end, those will be the moments you will look back on and see just how strong of a human you really are.  That you are absolutely and without question, a beautiful and unique human soul.  Showing your own strength can and will encourage others to be strong on their own.  Don't let your past keep hold of you.  It shouldn't dictate your future, but it should be part of who you will become.  You have the choice whether you learn from your lessons and move on, or let the lesson keep twisting its knife in your heart, telling you that you're a failure.
Remember to fight for what matters.  Always tell the truth.  One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is forgive - even if the person never asks for it, or never acknowledges that they were in the wrong.

Your life has a purpose.  You have much to accomplish.  Don't let others stop you.  And don't ever say you 'can't'.  That word shouldn't even be in your vocabulary.  Because a person who doesn't first believe in themselves, won't believe in others, and their plans won't succeed.

God allows everything to happen to allow something else to happen.


8 comments:

  1. if I have a daughter I'm going to make her read this:)

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  2. Hi! I'm already 17 but while reading your post, I felt like I was still a child. Thank you for posting this. It made my day a lot. :)

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    1. I wish i would have read this when i was younger, but i cant wait to show this to the younger ladies in my life that might need this.

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    2. I wish i would have read this when i was younger, but i cant wait to show this to the younger ladies in my life that might need this.

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    3. Aww you're welcome! Thanks for reading:)

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