54 Reasons I Will [Not] Date You

Below is a list I compiled of 54 reasons I will not date you.  Originally, it was going to be 102, but I got stuck at 54.

See?  I'm not that difficult of a person.  Oh wait...I'll probably think of 50 more reasons after I hit the 'publish' button.

And YES.  Many of these CAN have exceptions, but for the most part, they don't.  Most of them don't.

Like 99% of them don't.


I will not date you if you...

1.  Whine.  About anything.  Whining is not funny.  It's not cute.

2.  Talk too much about yourself and never ask me questions.

3.  Can't cook.  (And I'm not necessarily talking about all out gourmet chef style here - although I wouldn't complain about that - but just being able to follow a recipe and make it well.)

4.  Don't want to have babies.

5.  Do drugs.

6.  Or smoke.

7.  Or drink too much alcohol.  (A nice glass of wine or a bottle of beer is fine, but you need to be controlling of your intake and be able to know when to stop.)

8.  Gamble.

9.  Have no other hobbies besides video games. (If you even actually consider that a hobby.)

10.  Argue.  (Especially with no valid reason.)


12.  Act like sex is gross.

13.  Are "fine with where you're at in life".  (No.  Men should have goals and vision.)

14.  Can't take the role of leadership.

15.  Are utterly obsessed with immature things, to a point of I-theme-stuff-after-this. (Pokemon, video & computer games, Star Wars...  I don't want to date a twelve-year old.  Not only is that illegal, it's just plain weird.)

16.  All you can talk about are cars.

17.  Ask me for nudes.

18.  Ignore me. (Whether you're one mile away or 8,000 miles away, whether you're home alone or hanging out with friends, if I can't count on you prioritizing me/us if I need you or we need to talk, then a relationship won't work.)

19.  Have bad grammar.

20.  Abbreviate a lot when you're texting.

21.  Won't/don't want to meet my family.

22.  Don't care about your family.

23.  Or don't want me to meet them.

24.  Say that you could live without music.

25.  Can't at least try to like some of the things I do.  (Or at least appreciate and be happy for me when I find joy in things.  Because I will do the same for you.)

26.  Picky about food.

27.  Get uncomfortable when talking about periods.

28.  Can't handle the sight of blood.

29.  Don't care about eating healthy.

30.  Don't want to travel.

31.  Are constantly on your phone.

32.  Are still in contact with your ex-girlfriends.

33.  Are constantly ogling girls in public.

34.  Don't realize your shortcomings and areas you need to work on. (I'm not saying you have to become a better person for me, but just know where you need to change for the better.)

35.  Think that the birth process is gross or weird.

36.  Can't have an intelligent and edifying conversation.

37.  Don't have phone etiquette.

38.  Don't treat all women equally and with respect, no matter where they're from, their lifestyle or their occupation.

39.  Don't have a good relationship with the women in your family.

40.  Cuss a lot.

41.  Don't drive responsibly.

42.  Don't have style.  (A nice fashion sense, okay?  At least know how to put on a tie.)

43.  Talk obsessively about your workout schedule and what you did this day and that day and oh feel this muscle cuz I've been focusing on...  Just no.  If you have a nice body, I will compliment you on it.  But you talking about it all the time is prideful.

44.  Don't have a career in mind or that you aren't currently pursuing.  (Seriously?  You're gonna work at McDonald's your whole life?)

45.  Constantly complain about your job.  (If you don't like it, get another one.  This ties in to #1)

46.  Care more about the opinions of people on social medias, than in reality.

47.  Don't give me space.  Yes.  S p a c e.

48.  Are some whacked out control freak who will question my every reason for not replying to your text within ten minutes of you sending it to me.  (I've had this before.  No thanks.)

49.  Constantly beg for compliments.  (Whether verbally or the I'm-going-to-be-silent-until-you-say-something-nice-about-me)

50.  Don't have a healthy measure of self-confidence and self-esteem.

51.  If you are clingy.

52.  If you act like we're already dating and tell me that I can or can't do this and that.

53.  If you don't love Jesus, you ain't even in my sights.

54.  If you don't trust me.


    1. LOL, I have friends who I have...stopped being friends with because they ALWAYS talk about their workout.



    2. Yes, yes, yes!! Can I copy your list and keep it handy? I think I'll keep it taped in my office at work. :)

      Dani from A Vapor in the Wind

    3. These are really good, Raquel! Totally agree with all of them.

    4. Great list! I love number three. I actually wrote a blog post when I was younger about the importance of men learning/knowing how to cook. ;)

    5. I feel you girl!
      Somehow I always get the creeps interested in me and theyre just not people I would ever consider. I always wonder where the real men are because you would think there would be more that have basic morals and ... I guess not these days. :(

    6. I usually really enjoy reading your blog, but this post screams superficiality to me. You write so beautifully about valuing a person for their character - where did this come from? It's one thing to have personal preferences and areas in which you are unwilling to compromise -- I too would have a problem with a guy who was unwilling to meet my family-- but to label a guy undateable because he's picky about food? Or because you don't think he's stylish? Even if this post is supposed to be silly and taken with a grain of salt (which you might want to clarify is this is the case) I'd consider why you're compiling a list like this in the first place. All I know for sure is that if I had disqualified my husband as a potential partner because he abbreviates some of his texts (which he totally does) I would have missed out on the biggest blessing of my life.

      1. It is supposed to be taken with a grain of salt. Every one of my posts are specifically MY view, honest opinions and my personal take on things. If you don't agree, that's totally fine. And like I stated at the beginning of my post, some of these points may have exceptions - such as the texter who abbreviates excessively. Obviously that's not a HUGE deal-breaker haha And about being stylish...I said 'a nice fashion sense, okay?' I'm not gonna date some guy who wears frumpy clothes that haven't been washed in a week. And the picky about food point is because I have met/known guys who literally won't eat certain foods just because it had 'weird texture' or a 'weird taste' or because their mom raised them in a way that let them be picky about everything they ate. Not attractive.

        Glad you found the biggest blessing of your life!

    7. Question about #14 and #10. Id you want a man to take the role of leader, shouldn't it be you not arguing? Otherwise, if he's not supposed to argue and should listen to you, this means you're the leader. I'm not sue what you're wanting here.

      1. I don't see how #10 and #14 are linked...? And yeah, I shouldn't argue either. It's a two-way street. Discussing matters is different. And this is something that he, as the leader and I, as his helpmeet, will both do because making decisions DOES take discussions. But arguing - especially with no valid point (or because you're upset, and you know the other is correct, but you don't want to 'give in') - is foolish and a waste of time.

    8. Totally agree with drugs, smoking and alcohol.