5.20.2015

"Sometimes, you need to be your own little hero"


I’ve been staring at this blank page for a good ten minutes or so.  You ever have those days when things just don’t go as planned?  There were some good moments, some happy moments, some funny moments, and then some downright bad moments.  And those bad moments seem to take precedence over everything else.  They are all you can think about.  And just how unplanned they were…
That kind of day happened to be today. 
And it ends with this.
With me
sitting outside on the patio
on a sleeping bag
huddled in a hoodie and wrapped in my favorite blanket
my hands freezing
typing away on my laptop
amidst nature
and birds calling goodnight to each other.
It’s 8:46 p.m.
And my day is slowly ending.  In a way I hadn’t expected it to.
And I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes that holds bittersweetness, melancholy feelings and truth. 
“Sometimes, you need to be your own little hero.”
I wonder how I can do that sometimes.  Do I just forget that people fail me?  Do I just forget how things disappoint and hurt me?
Or do I remember those things and use them as building blocks to my success and remember that sometimes, it’s through those times that I can build new memories…of how I was strong when others thought I was weak.  Of how I decided to not let the negativity of people stop me from loving this incredible thing called ‘life’.

So my fingers are cold, and I don’t have anyone to warm them.  I can warm them myself.  I can be my own little hero and kiss the cold away.  Or embrace it.  And remember that there could be a million other things wrong in life than being a bit chilled.  And what IS wrong in that?  Being able to FEEL the coldness means one thing for sure.  That I am alive and well.  And that in and of itself is a blessing.  Or that I have the ability to think and write and type all my thoughts out onto this laptop screen.  

So sometimes, being my own little hero just means reminding myself of the wonderful things in life.  Because no matter where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing…there is always always something to behold.  Even when it’s a small beauty, it’s still something grand.


And now the birds are silent, snuggled in their nests for the night.  And the frogs have started to serenade the stars that are just beginning to peak through the darkening sky.  Like pin holes into heaven…

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