1) Learn about her, study her, try to understand her
Newsflash: although you never fully will
2) Pursue her
This means toughing it out, guys. Of course I'm not saying to stay with her when she emotionally and verbally abuses you. But pursue her. Once she agrees to be your girlfriend it doesn't mean she's yours, end of story. She's THE girl you need to dedicate and commit to. Pursue her. If you got her flowers and chocolates before you were dating (to see if she'd even notice you), get her flowers and chocolates WHILE dating. Nothing should stop. In fact, it should increase.
3) If a girl pushes you away at one of the first signs of affection you show her, be patient.
It's a girl's natural defense to be suspicious of kindness because of how we've been treated by some guys, and we know that most guys want more than just a friendship.
I know it's not fair. I know it's not your fault. I know you aren't like those other guys. But a good man can prove this by helping her heal and learn to trust again. Again: be patient. I promise it will pay off.
4) Give her space.
If you don't, she will ask for it. And when she does, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you anymore, doesn't want you anymore. She simply wants space. Give it to her. It's extremely important in a relationship. Why? Because sometimes it's when you're without the person you love that you realize just how much you love them. And also, you're not ALWAYS going to get along. And when this is the case, it means you need to retract a little and study from a distance.
If she's being short (or shorter than usual) in texts, ask her ONCE if she's upset with you. If she says no, ask if there's anything you can do. If she says no, LEAVE HER ALONE. That's all you can do. If she expects more, it's on her. SHE needs to communicate.
5) We know when you are or aren't paying attention to us.
If she asks, 'are you listening?', it's because she thinks you aren't. Stop whatever you're doing and pay attention. Oh and when you're on the phone with us, we know whether you're whispering to someone else or on your computer or watching a movie. Even if you're pretending you aren't.
6) She has a lot of guy friends...so what?
But wait, she chose you. And if you don't trust her, you shouldn't be with her. A healthy relationship requires trust between the two individuals. She could talk to as many guys as she wants (guys are human, right? just like you.....) but you can trust that she loves you and only you. End of story.
7) If she suddenly stops talking to you...
It's probably because you said or did something that made her realize you want more than a relationship. I had a random Instagram follower message me on Facebook one time. He was full of compliments for me and then asked 'Do you want to be friends?' I'm sorry...WHAT? Who asks that? Kids in second grade. He kept nagging me, asking me if/when we could hang out, what kind of flowers I liked, etc. Just no. Chill.
8) She doesn't need you.
She is her own person. She has her own life. She doesn't need you. If she chooses to be with you, it's because that's a decision she made on her own. She looked at her life, loved it, and decided that she wants you to be a part of it. She doesn't need you to complete or fulfill her. She's complete on her own. And she knows it.
9) If you're not feeling it, end it.
Seriously, I can't stress this enough. If you're with a girl but you're just not sure about moving further in your relationship, call it off NOW. The sooner, the better. It'll hurt her, but it'll hurt less now than later. Save her MORE heartache by saying goodbye sooner.
10) If she likes you, you'll know.
She's the one who'll try for you. She'll go the extra mile. She'll be patient. She'll put in an effort. You pursue her, she encourages you to keep pursuing her. She won't ask you to be more than you can be, but she will have high standards and challenge you to be a better version of YOU. But even then, she'll love you just for who you are.
Guys, just know that the right girl will love you with a love that doesn't ask to be returned, but she trusts that you love her the same. Her love will not demand, will not beg, will not be jealous, will rejoice in the truth. Date the girl who wants you with a passion. Date the girl who does not need you but wants to love you the way only she can. And it'll be the kind of love that, I promise, is well worth waiting for.