I Doubt You'll Ever Read This | a poem

So many things remind me of you
Driving down certain roads
Listening to certain songs
The feel of a super fuzzy blanket
Or the smell of cigarette smoke
I still race other cars on the highway
The way you taught me
Even though the speed limit lowers around that one curve
I can't use that certain emoji without smiling a little too
I bought a black bandana to match with you
I don't know if you even realized I posted that picture on Snapchat for you to see it
Speaking of Snapchat, we never took a picture together
I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that
Whenever I come across something relating to zodiacs,
I always look at Scorpio
And I'll never forget that you helped me scratch off a couple things on my bucket list
Your hugs always felt warm
And I loved the way you grinned whenever we argued about who was taller
I swear I still am
Remember that wolf picture you sent me one time?
Or the bracelet you bought for me?
I still have it, of course
But the thread is coming apart and I'm afraid to wear it because it could come undone completely
I still have that note on my phone of your phrases
I don't think you ever read my blog
But it's nice to say all of this
Even if it's just for the sake of getting it out of my heart and brain
And onto a piece of paper
Oh and hey, just so you know,
Even though I never told you
I like the sound of your name.