6 Ways To Know That I Totally Trust You

1)  I let you be on my phone.
Either I give you the passcode or I unlock it for you.  Both are huge, huge, huge signs that I trust you.  This is NOT because I have things to hide.  I don’t trust people to be on my phone because I’ve had so many experiences where someone texts something to a contact of mine that I would never, ever tell to that particular person.  (And that just opens a whole can of worms.)  Or they hack my social medias or email addresses.  Just not cool.

2)  I stay at your house till really late.  And/Or spend the night.
This is pretty self-explanatory.

3)  I let you drive my car.
Oliver isn't some super expensive race car (shh, don't tell him I said that), but I'm really nervous about allowing people to drive him.  He's genuinely moody (not even joking).  He will literally drive well or not well depending on who is driving him.  And also a lot of my friends like to try driving fast, but aren't safe about it.  Sooo yeah.

4)  I let you know any of my passwords.
Not that this is a typical occurrence between me and my friends, but on some occasions, I can’t log in to something (online, at the bank, etc.) and a friend of mine is available to do it for me.  And this does include my phone passcode but it's different than #1 because in giving you my passcode, that basically means you could get into my phone at any time, not just when I allow you to look on it.  Make sense?

5)  I ask you for advice.
This is a huge privilege, honestly.  I do not take it lightly when I ask someone for personal advice - on anything.  I'm a very strong-willed, make-my-own-decisions type of person so humbling myself to either realize I need help/advice or just knowing I can't figure something out on my own, is a big step for me.  I struggle with this.  Just being real.

6)  Being emotionally vulnerable with you.
This includes sharing my innermost thoughts and personal struggles...and knowing that you will keep this information solely between us.


How about you?  What are some ways you can show people that you really trust them?


I Tried Tinder For Five Days | A Perspective On Online Dating

I've never been opposed to online dating.  I know quite a few couples who've met through Christian Mingle, eHarmony, even Facebook, Instagram or blogs.  And a large percentage of them have gotten married.  
I believe God can use ANY means to bring two individuals together.  And in this day and age, you can sure as heck meet, be attracted to, become interested in and start dating people through social medias.  You never know what you'll find.  But you shouldn't count on it 100% working all the time, for every single person, including yourself.

I decided to give this online dating thing a go.  Partly from intrigue, partly from being open to meeting someone, and partly as research.  To see what the big deal was about anyway.
It went pretty well...at first.  It wasn't as if I was extremely lonely or felt "doomed" to singleness.  Some days I honestly couldn't imagine myself being okay with committing to a relationship again.

I met quite a few guys via several different dating apps.  I was attracted to some, I developed an interest in some, I could even go so far as to say that I developed a crush on some of these guys that I met online.  I went on a few first dates too, that all went well - a couple of whom wanted to see me for a second or third date.  (Sorry, no First Date Horror Stories for you.)
But the truth is, after just a few days of swiping right and being matched, I felt that online dating had calloused me.  I didn't have as much of a desire as I once did to 'put myself out there' and 'see who I'll meet'.  They could tell me how attracted they were to my face and body.  Some were even decent enough to say they were attracted to my heart and personality.  They told me how much they enjoyed our conversations, but I was always wondering how long it would last.  How long before they got bored of me?  How long before they made it clear that they didn't have serious intentions?

And that's when I realized something...
I had allowed online dating to unintentionally make me label guys 'future disappointments'.  
Or believe that I will disappoint them.  
So a part of my brain kept saying, "You're just never gonna be good enough."

And that's a lie.

Because I know my self-worth.  I know I am valuable.  I want to be respected.  I want to be cared for.  

Honestly, I think there are more cons than pros when it comes to meeting someone through the internet.  Getting cat-fished, to name one.  Or worse yet, you become callous to every person who hits you up with a "Hey, what's up?" after you were matched with them.
Sure, the initial "It's a match!" boosts your confidence...for about five seconds.  But the truth is, all the messages and faces will just mesh into a blur and you'll only be swiping right out of pure boredom.  
Or you'll have a good, steady messaging-back-and-forth going with one guy, but the next day, won't hear from him.  Next week his account will be deleted.  And next week, you're left feeling depressed and wondering, "What did I do wrong?"

Like I said, online dating has worked for some individuals.  Some people just match and click and know and don't have any doubts that they're meant for each other.  I am so happy for those couples.

Others, like myself, would much rather do without being bored and swiping right.

If online dating isn't the thing for you either, then quit it.  It's as simple as click 'Delete My Account' and then removing the app from your phone.

And that is why I tried Tinder for five days and then was like "Screw this.  I deserve better."


Everyday Blessings // 44

>> being the first guest on a friend's brand new podcast - Grace In A Strange Place

>> Captain America: Civil War (#TeamCaptain)
>> spontaneous mini-roadtrips to beautiful locations
>> writing a travel/packing list (yes, I'm going on another adventure... Anybody live in San Francisco?)
>> surprises
>> finding a men's plaid flannel - with a hood - at Goodwill for $7
>> the First 5 app
>> new rings
>> seeing friends in healthy relationships
>> applying to colleges
>> maxi skirts
>> planning to move again at the end of summer
>> roadtrips to the beach at 11:30pm
>> puppies
>> an evening of friends, pizza, ice cream, cookie dough, whipped cream and movies
>> a bouquet of wildflowers being left at your doorstep
>> yoga mats
>> eating pancakes at 1:30am at a bar
>> new tattoos
>> birds singing outside my window
>> getting a Dutch Bros drink paid for by the car in front of me
>> playing Never Have I Ever on the beach
>> saltwater taffy
>> answered prayers
>> God's timing
>> reassurance
>> encouraging emails from readers
>> first day of June

Who's excited for it to be June?  Any fun summer plans?