1.31.2017

6 Things You Should Never Change About Yourself To Be In A Relationship


Being in a relationship is all about being selfless and learning to love each other the way you need to be loved.  Being in a relationship also means giving up things for the other person - such as bad or unhealthy habits and not hanging out one on one with an opposite sex friend who used to have feelings for you.

But there are definitely some things you should never change about yourself - for a significant other or for anyone.

Here are my top 6.

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1)  Your beliefs
I think the biggest part of anyone's life is their spirituality.  Our souls are immortal.  They will go on even after our bodies decay.  Your relationship with God and your convictions regarding morals and "how to live life" are foundational for your future.  If someone comes along and wants you to change all that for them, I'd consider that a red flag.

2)  Your Hobbies
Okay, so obviously, if you're doing unhealthy things - like going to strip clubs, or smoking/drinking excessively, or have an online dating app that you like to swipe through - you're probably gonna have to change that up a bit.  But what I mean by "things you enjoy doing", I'm referring more to healthy and productive pastimes like reading, or gardening, or hiking.  These are hobbies that a significant other shouldn't be able to come into your life and say "Don't do that anymore" for no rhyme or reason.  Uh, no, ma'am.

3)  Your relationship with your family and lifelong friends.
Any significant other that comes between you and your family needs to go.  They don't have any right to come into your life and either make you choose them over your family, or in any way, shape or form, pull you away from your family.  Your family has been there since the day you were born, and they'll be there till you die.  A significant other has no place in trying to "change" that.

4)  Your dreams
Of course once you are serious about being with someone, you kind of have to align your dreams/goals/careers with theirs, as far as how compatible you will be with them.  But they should never have to ask you to give up on something you've been working hard for, looking forward to, all to just be with them.

5)  Your style
I can echo what I said in point number 2 here, regarding if it's not healthy or respectful to your significant other than give it some thought to change.  But if your SO is telling you to throw out your whole wardrobe and only wear what they buy for you because they want to change your whole style and fashion sense, um, excuse me, who are they?  The way you dress represents you as a person (remember that!), and if they can't be with you or at least respect and admire you for the fashion sense you have, imagine what else they're going to try changing about you.

6)  Your standards
In today's day and age, you need to be picky.  I'm gonna say it again.  In today's society, and with the extremely disappointing ratio of decent potential boyfriends/girlfriends out there, you need to be choosy, have standards, and stick to those standards.  Of course there are some that can be discussed, such as if you'd never date a smoker, but he recently quit smoking a few months ago.  I mean, that's not a huge deal.  But if you have a standard for dating someone who shares your views and convictions spiritually, then you don't budge on that.  No amount of excuses will ever cut the cake there.  Go back to point number 1 for my reasoning.

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Relationships are tricky.  And committing to be in one with an individual human soul is scary and wonderful at the same time.  This article just touched on 6 main points I find the most important.  Comment below any you would add to this list!

P.S.  And even if you don't change all these things for someone else, and the relationship still doesn't work out, remember there's nothing wrong with you.  Sometimes things just don't work out and that's that.  And it's okay.  You're okay.  Life is still beautiful.

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