This is my awakening

Having a spirit truly fascinates me.  

The mere fact that my body is not only home to a brain and heart, but also a soul is just astounding.
Being in touch with my spirit, feeling feelings, knowing emotions, is all something that has come with time.

The journey of awakening to realize my inner power and strength began about three years ago.  I felt myself being drawn to certain energies, desiring to learn more about certain things, wanting to have a deeper connection to my self.  But I think what was truly the biggest stepping stone for me (and most recent) was suffering the extremely painful end of an unhealthy relationship.  (This in no way is a platform to drag my ex’s identity through the mud.  He had no way of knowing or controlling his behavior because when an individual is as hurt and broken as he was, blindness is a common factor in their life.)  I am thankful for what I experienced through being his lover, though, because walking away from that painful season was what launched me into discovering more about who I truly am, as a spirit, and what I am capable of becoming, as a human.  

Life-altering circumstances in your journey will first hurt you, but oh, then they will change you.  And when you teach yourself to heal, when you teach yourself to build from the ground up, when you realize you have nothing left but me, myself and I, that is the perfect soil for planting new seeds, a new start, a new life.  And you will discover a strength in you that you didn't know existed.
This fragile time is not something to put on blast right away, though.  Remember that.  “There is a season for everything” - including when to acknowledge your pain and also, when to let others know you survived.  And just because you are discreet about it at first doesn’t mean you are being fake.  You are grieving in privacy.  And that is okay.  

But the time for my grieving is over.  

My God is faithful to bring things to completion, to “finish the good work He started”.  The old is gone, the new has come.  And with a full heart, I can say that I am thankful for this journey that He sovereignly ordained to teach me about myself, about my identity, and about who He has called me to be.  As summer comes to a close, and my favorite time of year begins, I thought it would be the perfect time to celebrate my awakening.

I have shared bits and pieces of my healing journey in the past but I have since entered a new season of acknowledging my wholeness and beauty as an independent and empowered woman so.. get ready, peeps.  

“I thought that I would never breathe.  I thought the pain would never leave.  But You’re redeeming everything.  This is my awakening.  I’m never going back to sleep.  How could I after what I’ve seen?”

Being awakened isn’t some voodoo nuance that involves summoning spirits and calling on dead relatives for guidance.  Being awakened is about discovering your inner power, realizing that you have more potential than you could have imagined, and embracing your journey of self.  Not everyone experiences it the same way.  Your own awakening will come in your own timing, whether that be based off of a life-changing event or when you hit rock bottom.  It might happen slowly, like a sunset filling the sky with colors.  Or it will just click in your heart and brain at the same time, like how a day changes from 11:59 to 12:00 in one second.  

But the most important thing to remember is that your awakening will happen when you manifest the desire for it.  
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  
“Be mindful of your heart for from it flow the springs of life”.  
Be aware of the energy you are putting out into the world.  
Above all, be open to receive what the LORD desires to bestow on you.  And get ready to be filled to the brim, my friends, for my God does not give meager portions.  

Be blessed.  

You are fully known and fully loved.

“My cup overflows…”


The photo I chose for this post is one that I feel has a lot of significance because of the shirt that I'm wearing.  I got it when Amanda Cook was touring with Hillsong and had just released the "House On a Hill" album.  Her song, "Awakening", has been my theme since the day it came out.

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